Love, is looking forward to

ambrosine

Late autumn of 2004 AD, for me, this is a memorial that I will never be worth the season, so my life unforgettable. Because, there is a girl named Ling into my eyes, into my mind, changed my life, I had a sinking heart if the mirror seal Melaleuca lot of attention sea waves, a long time to flowing incessantly.
Ling actually appeared quite by chance, put it simply, when I go out to workers during a chat at a dinner table, when we talk about to me, a friend inadvertently brought the leadership of her, that is, Ling, and at the behest of the leadership arrangements, preparing to Ling introduced to me, for about the meet, at first only as assigned by the leadership to complete a simple task, even if in the future to continue exchanges continue, can only count to the organization of the arrangement, only of this, but never have the slightest any illusions. Against this background, and first met Ling. At that dinner, and colleagues and friends when, in the Ling and my camel was a short introduction after the greeting, I began to quietly focus from the Ling, said that like it, perhaps from this point of the bar. Dare not say it was love at first sight be considered, in short, a special kind of feeling in the heart also I've never before experienced.
Ling unique look into the kind of quiet with a little shy, frail body, Jiao Mei's face plus sweet voice, everything I intoxicated, s heart. Since that I tried to stay for many years, has not talked to his girlfriend, few have the kind of happiness, and sometimes feel very unjust, despite little money, not handsome look is not cool, but the infatuated girl in my not small, but not make my favorite type, for love, I am principled, Ningquewulan never improvise. And Ling, just that my long dream girl. Years of waiting, finally.
ling in my eyes, is so specific and real, doomed that night, my heart already, could not sleep. A few days later, and no contact Ling. Working relationship between you [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or staying up until dawn, or the endless wine server, short passes that let an. However, when the dead of night time, it is natural to think of Ling, the United States to Ling, Ling's charming. The hearts of thousands all over and can not think of her self-control. Days not seen Ling, remember ordinary of me?
just a few sleepless nights and I miss Japanese TV drama series increasing, and finally meet again, it was a separate meet for the first time, really, so many and usually I like to joke, actually a little bit nervous from time to time in silence, afraid to say the wrong thing, so think I'm frivolous ling heart, I know that some things after a loss, can once again have, and some, once lost, life will not be there. And my greatest fear is the loss of Ling.
not remember the beginning from the day, the ling their own home as a warm haven, those days, especially in busy, work late, tired, but I do not want to go home, but looking forward to it as soon as possible to Ling see Ling, immediately the spirit of a new look, feel a warm heart, how tired do not think the. Ling Tiantiandexiao looking forward to hear the voice of Ling softly, and when she prettily Lianlian look, whenever this time, I always can not help but laugh from the heart.
often, that he did not really Ling sake, Ling is a teacher, busy work, heavy pressure, each day a little more rest [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I was there, a ling to intoxicated to linger, often late back they simply own happiness, totally failed to consider the work of the day when the tired-ling. Honey, all my fault, not really hard to love you, considerate you. I often think about this, I am particularly self-blame, really unworthy of you, my beloved girl.
Ling, I always think that your home is not here, a man out, the lack of warm, penetrating both the lack of family care, few people around you can really care how much I love you to carry the responsibility, although my shoulders and not generous, it will not take care of you, so you always With infinite guilt, think of this, my eyes in the wet.
Ling, remember, I had tears flee in front of you, I do not know why, then wept, especially sad. I remember a lot of wine drinking that day, after sober retrospect, that I said something wrong. Should not be without your permission, your colleagues in front of my friends say you are my girlfriend and did not take into account your feelings, let your heart bad. You know, when I say those words when, filled with immense pride. Was particularly true happiness, I will never forget that feeling. Know you blame me talking nonsense, but you know, I have you as my beautiful bride. Even if it is his own unrequited love, my heart has drifted up, the feeling of happiness to the extreme.
send you back in, you are severely blame me, I began to cry, so sad so sad, like a, like the children to do the wrong thing, seemed so pathetic and fear. I do not know why, in front of you sometimes feel very weak, actually cried. All along, I feel especially strong, even if that year I lost my mother in the moment, I did not half tear flow, comparison to others, I really considered a strong bearing capacity. And you make me cry.
occasionally bought a la carte, you do for me, food is very simple, not to mention rich, you have to do something delicious, I eat more fragrant. When you cook, I always want to help you do this or that, you do not let my hands, my hands too stupid, I can only behind you and turn, watching in silence in front of you that graceful the back and your behavior. At that time, feeling deeply emerged in my mind, I'm afraid with the warmth and sweetness is beyond description and expression. Perhaps this is really love.
apologies to you also because you never bought any gifts, did not give you the slightest surprise, I admit, my soul is the lack of romance, the lack of atmosphere, the lack of eloquence coax make you happy, I just think that the so-called romantic, too much false sentiment, not representative of anything, maybe this is my mistake now, I can not let you know that you a sincere heart, and perhaps as time goes by, you can gradually understand me.
However, as time goes by in a day, one day, I found that I really want is wrong, I love the ling, you did not understand me, maybe you do not like me like me like you do. In your mind, occupied the position I was so small, even non-existent. At this moment, my eyes moist again. The hearts of loneliness and helplessness, so I keep bleeding, I do not know how long it should drip, drip much, perhaps dried blood dripping to stop it before that moment. Certainly is.
ling, you know, in your training, it is hard to see you, to call you, want you back, good to see you again, because I really want you, and you always said with this or that reason, I feel, that you do not want to see me, I do not know why, but I'm kind of anxiety from my heart more than a feeling, night after night of tossing and turning is always difficult to fall asleep. Close your eyes, your shadow to emerge, is still so clear, so profound, just as real in front of me. Attachment to you so I can not help it, always makes me addicted.
to experts of the day, suddenly received your call [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], at first, to see the familiar number, I'm very excited when I heard that you were going home, and soon to go, a sense of loss of oil But students, let me restless as ants drop the pan, when I was at work and can not see you one last time in years, to help you pack up, carry luggage, give you off. Special sick mind, Ling, can you feel that?
side of the phone you and say come home to give me call me, I think you hit the phone over to hear you say this, I am very pleased, and my heart more comfortable.
However, the long wait to get my heart is heavy, no more of your audio to your home call, and then the person is not always you, you said Guoqingrenjie some back with me that day, so you you go so you are finally so 到了那一天, but still not any of your messages. Valentine's Day, would be filled with extremely beautiful and romantic day, it does not belong to me. I have been the wish, but Valentine's Day without a lover. Missed appointments for your commitment, I think a lot of reasons, for you it is for me, I could not help comfort myself thinking of you just to spend more time with his family and the delayed return. However, the brain suddenly is also a kind of bad omen, revealing another curtain scene, you pull the hands of individuals, holding a gift of flowers, nestled in that person's side, so I can not imagine going to continue. For a deep impression on Valentine's Day, gray and thin, hazy sky, floating little bit of snow, scattered on me when I walk alone in the street, watching the pair of lovers walking street They, and shook their hands full of flowers, and reveal the face filled with happy smile, the sweetness of more Indian people show off the extreme bitterness in my heart, my heart confused mess, thoughts of love, indescribable .
Valentine's night, turn off the glare of the lights, lit a cigarette, lying quietly in the office sofa, flashing and flickering in the cigarette ash falling in the numerous and complicated, listening to put the computer the sad song of nostalgia, melancholy midnight if it is telling me I was sad and lonely feeling confession. This emotional contagion me all night. Ling, my dear, do you want me, I do not know what you're thinking at this time, with your obsession with the restless heart Let me hold you, kiss you, but I really do not know you heart, I really is a friend or a lover or love your heart, I puzzled, but also confusion, you are my source of all happiness and sorrow, I wish for happiness, a happiness with you, more me I'm happy you happiness, but my dear, how can you not with me?
recall many memories, everything is fresh in our memory, such as a film-like piece flashed from my eyes, I remember a few times to see you too tired to help you copy the student reviews, correcting student work, their own as if a guest back to the teacher, and once you particularly tired, sleep for I lie alone in your copied the table, the night was deep, about several o'clock, and finally copied over, tiring, and I was comfortable breath, turned and saw you had already gone to sleep, sweet smile still on his face, a very happy look, suddenly no longer felt tired. I really wanted to give you a kiss furtively, afraid to wake you, really want to accompany you around all night, sitting on the bed had been staring at you [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], until you see when you wake in the morning after a lovely lazy way, When you wake up but is afraid of being surprised by my actions, so hurry on paper for you to stay a few words, turn out the lights quietly back.
still remember the day, you suddenly toothache, half of the little face is some swelling, accompany you to see a doctor, a doctor holding a needle bar to start your little mouth, my heart was terribly uncomfortable, as a child bad teeth, I received a lot of this crime, the pain, no less be a knife, my dear-ling, her is like you can stand it? Sure enough, I heard you moan, see your eyes of tears, my pains, but not for you to bear this pain, silence can only pray for you, though I know it is just a beautiful place wish only.
past like a lot, have a cigarette burning the roots off, off the fuel. Night is so long and cold, through the window, gazing aimless, vaguely dim light outside, India shining sky, snow, also has been inundated, is really a bit cold this winter, and my heart colder, suddenly felt his chest rise and fall without a heart is no longer jumping, freezing blood is frozen into ice.
you quickly reopened, the day of your thoughts are concentrated on one day alone I still have not changed, but you still have not received a phone call, my dear, so want to see you, do not know you did not come back every day over and over again moved a number of your phone, but always there is no signal, and finally one day, when I heard your phone is busy when the issue of some hasty toot toot sound, rejoicing, thrilled , you're back! I finally reunited with you, eager to see can not express your feelings, but many of the calls, you let me down again and again, you always have countless reasons, one after another can not reason enough for me see you, let me kind of uneasy omen previous uppermost, over a year, so I think you have changed, really changed, do not you have a heart for him? Beginning to think you intend to avoid me, is to make time to dilute my feelings for you do, then you are really wrong, I can not forget you! This life, which Payouyitian you really become someone else's bride.
who thinks that is my warm haven, is now occupied by whom do not know already, every time you say something to accompany, accompanying school, with friends, busy, I am heavy, I will make what people? A stranger it? Why can not chat with me? Why fall into a series of jumping out, I do not know the answer, I really want to know. I did something wrong, or do you meet a better person then, can no longer destined to have you I do love the spring there will not be dark, but I have not the day. Floating in the air past all the gentle wind passing away, leaving only the indelible memory of the pain and faint hearts, time to turn the wheel will be one, the story will have a way to drive away, and only the remaining I still stand a lone in the wind, recall the past, recall the oath I have for you, I said, I want to marry you, you have said that want to marry me. Today, I awaken to the truth, it is just my dream, a vision full of beautiful dreams only. It is difficult for them to achieve.
a big crowd, but why is that you came into my heart, I probably have in your heart to stay off it, I do not know but whom squeeze out, and are we just a brief moment in between each other it? Now I often dream at night you wake up and do not know will no longer dream of the next day, Love Is So we ended the right, I do not want to be the face of this bleak the outcome, I am helpless.
cold and dark heart, my dearest ling, you can never understand the that, maybe you never feel my disdain, I feel like standing in a dark forgotten corner, each looking at front of the crowd shuttle, but you still can not see it anyway, I can not remember you have given me the gentle, because now it hurts me too.
think of a song called in the setting of music, hear more, I'm afraid now I sing it than the original singers but also emotionally. For you, I am extremely serious, so now the wounds suffered heart is memorable, that we get along is like a drama, and your story has came to a close, the new part of your story has just started the protagonist is not me! I always still look forward to, my dear-ling, come back, you still always be my favorite!